


tag yourself i'm-

by polaroidexit



Series: Texting Fics [1]
Category: C-Pop, EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Byun Baekhyun is a Little Shit, Crack, Drama, Established Relationship, Hormonal Little Shits, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Kris has a secret boyfriend, M/M, Oh Sehun is a Brat, Slice of Life, Tao & Jongin & Sehun are Highschoolers, Texting, failed crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-02-16 23:29:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 5,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polaroidexit/pseuds/polaroidexit
Summary: who eats pizza at 3 am? bacon does





	1. tag urself im luhan

**Baekhyunee:**

 

 

**Jongwae:**

it's 3 am what the actual fuck

 

**Baekhyunee:**

it's 6 am somewhere shut up

 

 **Luhan:**          

who takes a selca while eating pizza wtf??

 

**Baekhyunee:**

OK GET OFF ME FOR ONCE WILL YOU

 

**Guccipanda:**

is that makeup

 

**Baekhyunee:**

no i dont have a dead face like you

 

**Guccipanda:**

im cUTE

peOPEL CALL ME PANDa

 

**Baekhyunee:**

to make fun of your ass

 

**Jongwae:**

how is the parasite not awake

 

 **Realpcy:**      

FOR THE LAST TIME IM NOT A FUCKING PARASITE YOU LITTLE ASS

 

 **Jongwae:**    

oh there he is

 

**Kai:**

looking like a full course meal baek

 

 **Realpcy:**      

back off im the one eating

 

 **Jongwae:**      

we dont need to hear bout your kink

 

 **Kai:**              

im just saying chill

its called compliments

but a parasite wouldnt know that

 

 **Realpcy:**        

FUKC OFF ALL OF YUO

 

 **Luhan:**        

WDNKJHV IM CRYIGN

 

**Baekhyunee:**

thx jongin

 

 **Realpcy:**        

BAEK??

IM

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

go the fuck to sleep, Park


	2. tag urself im soap lover minseok

**Minsucc:**

Life sucks rn

 

**Sheep02:**

whats wrong?

 

**Guccipanda:**

minseok complaining for once

 

**Luhan:**

tbh

 

**Minsucc:**

I cant find the soap I like anywhere

and its the source of my identity

I feel so empty rn

is this what chanyeol feels like

 

**Realpcy:**

ok what did I ever do to you

 

**Luhan:**

ur the drama queen

no

you're THE drama

 

**Realpcy:**

im not????

what is this im so

 

**Guccipanda:**

ur dramatic 24/7

 

**Sheep02:**

maybe try out another brand?

 

**Minsucc:**

NO

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

THAT SOAP BRAND IS THE ONLY SOAP BRAND I WILL EVER LOVE

 

**OhSehun:**

look at what this chat is doing to us

sooner or later

everyone of us would become a chanyeol

dramatic AND a dead waste

 

**Realpcy:**

hes right

I feel empty rn


	3. tag urself im sensitive yixing 'bout his weed

**Realpcy:**

guys!!

its the 22nd!!

 

**OhSehun:**

we know

 

**Realpcy:**

how are you not excited rn

spoiled brat

cant even appreciate xmas anymore

 

**OhSehun:**

it's on the fucking 25th u ass

fuck off with ur 'spoiled' talk

 

**Realpcy:**

learn to appreciate

ungrateful brat

 

**Kai:**

he literally did nothing to u

go annoy someone else

 

**OhSehun:**

thanks <3

 

**Kai:**

<3

 

**Realpcy:**

grossness

 

**Kai:**

ur just jealous

feed him some sugar Baek

 

**Baekhyunee:**

nah it only gets him doped

like yixing's cookies

 

**Realpcy:**

I can literally step on both of you

have some fear

 

**Sheep02:**

theyre brownies

not cookies

istg I have way more braincells than you

 

**Baekhyunee:**

o K IM SORRY

BUT I COULDNT CARE THE FUCK LESS

 

**Luhan:**

about the differences between cookies and brownies?

Or how you have no braincells at all?

 

**Baekhyunee:**

I hate you

 

**Realpcy:**

ok ok

can we go back to the matter at hand

guys its the 22nd!!

 

**Baekhyunee:**

literally go die in a hole


	4. tag urself im luhan 2.0

**OhSehun:**

I hate finals

 

**Junmyeon:**

for what?

 

**OhSehun:**

Math

 

**Junmyeon:**

thought that wasn't until you get back from break

 

**OhSehun:**

exactly that one

I hate it

 

**Guccipanda:**

only because u fucking suck at math

and u would fucking fail

 

**OhSehun:**

U HAVE NO RIGHT

UR GOOD AT MATH

UR ASIAN

 

**Guccipanda:**

ur asian too???

and wtf man

other people can be good at math

 

**Luhan:**

stereotypes says otherwise

honestly stereotypes can die

not all asians are smart

 

**Yifan:**

struggled?

 

**Luhan:**

math can honestly suck my dick

actually

no

math is a fucking cunt

and no cunt deserves to suck my dick

 

**Guccipanda:**

u should really get some before xmas

ur literally talking about a subject sucking ur cock

 

**Luhan:**

right

because you're getting some with that murderous personality

 

**Guccipanda:**

GETTING MORE THAN U

I HOEP U FUCKGIN FAIL


	5. tag urself im sick baek

**Kai:**

its the eve guys

  


**Baekhyunee:**

go choke

on a fucking cock

and die

  


**Realpcy:**

dont mind him

he has a cold

  


**Baekhyunee:**

its the eve

and im sick

nothing could be better rn

  


**Luhan:**

are you masochistic?

Wow never expected that from you

  


**Baekhyunee:**

ITS CALLED SARCASM

  


**Guccipanda:**

r u serious? I always thought he was the sub

with a loud voice

  


**Luhan:**

no that's definitely chanyeol

baek's just selfish getting all that to himself

  


**Baekhyunee:**

just what are you even talking about?

I'll let you know that I am a very good and honest person

  


**Kai:**

is this what the eve is to u

u shouldnt really lie on the eve

its supposed to be a heartwarming holiday

  


**Baekhyunee:**

ITS NOT EVEN THE 25TH YET

SO GET OFF ME ALREADY


	6. tag urself im yifan tbh

**Jongwae:**

merry christmas you fuckers

 

**Guccipanda:**

merry xmas u bunch of pathetic virgins

 

**Minsucc:**

wtf

 

**Luhan:**

great start

we all know youre the virgin

 

**Yifan:**

you guys do realize its xmas right?

 

**Junmyeon:**

they'll never get it

dont even try

 

**Sheep02:**

was this chat created to bring our self esteem down

 

**Luhan:**

it was meant to bring the lowest of the lowest together

 

**Sheep02:**

just what do you see yourself as??

 

**Jongwae:**

has baek strangled that giant to death

and killed himself with the cold

cuz im happy

 

**Realpcy:**

think again

and fuck off

ur not funny

 

**Jongwae:**

im not trying to be

god you have the biggest mood today

 

**Realpcy:**

dont even

staying up all night during the eve with a sick person isnt exactly FUN

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

istg

you guys are the most idiotic people I've ever met

 

**Luhan:**

and the only ones u will ever meet

with that personality

youre not as great as you think you are

 

**Guccipanda:**

UR THE WORST OF THEM ALL

 

**Yifan:**

again

its the 25th

its xmas

 

**Junmyeon:**

it will never get through to them


	7. tag urself im kyungsoo during science

**Luhan:**

why sheep

 

**Jongwae:**

what

 

**Sheep02:**

because

I am the sheep

of China

isnt it obvious enough

 

**Jongwae:**

original enough

 

**Sheep02:**

at least I dont whine

WAEEE

 

**Jongwae:**

I DIDNT COME UP WITH THE NAME OK

 

**Luhan:**

who did then

 

**Jongwae:**

minseok

 

**Minsucc:**

payback for this misleading name I have to live with the rest of my life

 

**Kai:**

succ's not too bad

 

**Minsucc:**

thats just unfair

youre using your dancer name

I get stuck with a kink that I dont even have

 

**Luhan:**

dont lie

you do have that kink

why else so defensive

 

**Minsucc:**

for fucks sake

at least I feel original

 

**Luhan:**

low blow

luhan's better than the ones with their last names

 

**OhSehun:**

what r u trying to say

 

**Luhan:**

I made my point

OhSehun, really??

 

**Kai:**

u guys can back off

OhSehun's a good name

 

**OhSehun:**

thanks

and theres also kyungsoo

why bully me

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

you all can just fuck off with your shit


	8. tag urself im disturbed yifan

**OhSehun:**

h e l p

i don't deserve this

 

**Kai:**

what's wrong?

 

**Baekhyunee:**

dont worry im here with him

 

**OhSehun:**

exactly???

 

**Jongwae:**

why would you want to be with such an introverted idiot

 

**OhSehun:**

?? that was weak

lots of introverts out there

 

**Jongwae:**

oh sorry

i meant

the emo kid that has zero eyeliner skills

 

**OhSehun:**

ok again

fuck off

 

**Kai:**

really guys??

 

**Baekhyunee:**

EXACTLY.

im going to tap some eyeliner skills into him today

 

**Luhan:**

how is it so far

 

**Baekhyunee:**

its a blob

of ink

 

**Luhan:**

kjsdkahlj

 

**OhSehun:**

HEY NO

YOU DONT GET TO SAY ANYTHING

BECAUSE YOU LOOK FUCKABLE WITHOUT MAKEUP

 

**Luhan:**

thank you

 

**Guccipanda:**

y r u even trying

he was born to suck at it

 

**OhSehun:**

right, and urs is better how??

 

**Guccipanda:**

i dont need eyeliners to look fuckable

 

**Baekhyunee:**

again

you have a deadface

 

**Guccipanda:**

fuck u

i can fucking snap ur legs and arms rn

 

**Minsucc:**

god the highschool theme is going strong today

 

**Guccipanda:**

just because ur the oldest

 

**Baekhyunee:**

those threats are meaningless

 

**Jongwae:**

wheres your parasite in all of this

 

**Realpcy:**

ha ha

tease while you can

because your throat will be slit once i see you

 

**Junmyeon:**

what is going on with you guys today

 

**Yifan:**

what the actual fuck

 

**Baekhyunee:**

aftermath of my xmas eve torture

 

**Realpcy:**

stop trying to sound proud of it


	9. tag urself im the plant behind jongin and sehun

**Kai:**

 

**Guccipanda:**

istg 

quit the bf spam

 

**Kai:**

not happening

 

**OhSehun:**

only because ur jealous

of our faces

 

**Guccipanda:**

oh thats weird

i never said i wanted to look like shit

 

**Kai:**

admit it

we look hot

 

**Baekhyunee:**

confident much

 

**Luhan:**

probably because he fucked all the girls in his school

 

**Baekhyunee:**

yES

 

**Kai:**

thank u

 

**Luhan:**

NOT A COMPLIMENT

I HOPE YOUR DICK SHRIVELS UP

 

**Minsucc:**

thats just disgusting

 

**Yifan:**

what is with the dick talk every day

 

**Jongwae:**

people are just that thirsty

 

 **Baekhyunee:**  

now this is the best bf pic

 

**Guccipanda:**

think again

 

**Realpcy:**

go away he still looks precious

 

**Jongwae:**

oml i found this 

 

**Minsucc:**

ah back when we were all in high school

 

**Luhan:**

WAIT

IS THAT A BF PIC OR

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

someone stop this sappy shit.


	10. tag urself im yixing because who likes lectures

**Luhan:**

guys

how are you not shook

 

**Guccipanda:**

about?

 

**Luhan:**

jongdae and minseok

i never knew

 

**Minsucc:**

what

what about us?

 

**Luhan:**

was that not a couple pic the other day

 

**Minsucc:**

i have no idea where you got that from but okay

it was graduation

ofc we were going to take pics

 

**Luhan:**

oh

i see

 

**Guccipanda:**

BAHAHA I CAN ALREADY SMELL THE DISAPPOINTMENT FROM U

SUCH A GOSSIP

 

**Luhan:**

YOu A re SUCH A goSSIP

 

**Jongwae:**

im offended

not a bad thing to gossip bout

since we're the best couple

 

**Luhan:**

wait

wait

i

you two dated??

 

**Jongwae:**

dating*

 

**Luhan:**

what why did you lie min

 

**Minsucc:**

I didnt

never denied us two being a couple

 

**Luhan:**

annoying

 

**Minsucc:**

still single

 

**Luhan:**

hope your ears bleed from his whining

 

**Minsucc:**

still single AND a gossip 

 

**Luhan:**

fuck off

 

**Sheep02:**

that should be this gc's quote this year

you all say it way too much

 

**OhSehun:**

ur the most mature one in this gc

who added u

 

**Sheep02:**

mature and fun

i deserve to be added

 

**Yifan:**

mature and high, you mean

 

**Junmyeon:**

are you still doing those, yixing??

 

**Yifan:**

lay, you mean

 

**Sheep02:**

i dont want a lecture

i promise i will quit eventually

 

**Kai:**

lol lay hyung might be the most chill stoner i've ever met

 

**Junmyeon:**

you guys aren't making this better

with the 'lay'

 

**Yifan:**

it's his name

 

**Junmyeon:**

when he does drugs

 

**OhSehun:**

cooler terms hyung

weed

 

**Junmyeon:**

what am i going to do with all of you

 

**Guccipanda:**

stop nagging like a mother

PLEASE

 

**Junmyeon:**

i'm not

seriously, tao

 

**Yifan:**

don't even try

he's in high school, remember?


	11. tag urself im sehun

**OhSehun:**

who invented science

its literally a piece of shit

waste of my fucking time

 

**Luhan:**

wasnt ready for rant time

not ready for blood from my ears either

 

**OhSehun:**

cunt

 

**Junmyeon:**

i think you should calm down first, Sehun

 

**Luhan:**

yoURE A FUCKING CUNT

 

**Junmyeon:**

luhan i swear to god

and Sehun

you're stressed

feel free to talk about it

 

**Jongwae:**

i realized

the mom vibe can be quite creepy

 

**OhSehun:**

i dont gET BIOLOGY

WHY ARE WE LEARNING ABOUT CHEMISTRY TOO

ITS JUST

 

**Junmyeon:**

i'm sure it's not that bad

ask for a tutor?

 

**Jongwae:**

DONT IGNORE ME

 

**Sheep02:**

hey i got an A in science

i could help

 

**Luhan:**

YGUFEHWKD

i doubt it

you barely have any braincells left

 

**Sheep02:**

still smarter than you

 

**Luhan:**

feel free to tutor him

ruin his grade and your pride

 

**Guccipanda:**

i swear luhan is the devil

 

**Baekhyunee:**

right, we have a satan and a devil now

 

**OhSehun:**

i couldnt care less anymore

 

**Junmyeon:**

Sehun

?

Ok shit I'm panicking

 

**Guccipanda:**

ahjjfke first time seeing mom swear

 

**Kai:**

U PEOPLE NEED TO STOP TALKING

 

**Luhan:**

ohmygod im

whats happening ahAHA

 

**Guccipanda:**

rude much

not our fault hun's braindead

 

**Kai:**

NO I HAVENO TIME FORUR SHIT RN TAO

HES BURNIGN TEH TXETBOOSK 

THE SEMESTRE JSUT STRATED

 

**Baekhyunee:**

lmao classic

 

**Luhan:**

IM DYING OHMYGOD

 

**Sheep02:**

i still have the offer up to tutor, yeah?


	12. tag urself im broke like tao

**Guccipanda:**

anyone have money?

im broke

 

**Luhan:**

from buying all that useless gucci

 

**Guccipanda:**

its Gucci

not gucci

 

**Sheep02:**

i have enough money

 

**Guccipanda:**

great

 

**Sheep02:**

but i know better than lending it to you

 

**Guccipanda:**

uM??

 

**Sheep02:**

you're going to waste it on brands that you don't even need

 

**Luhan:**

my point

 

**Guccipanda:**

no im not??

i have a life

UNLIKE U PPL

 

**Luhan:**

your insults couldnt matter less in my life

 

**Guccipanda:**

why do u ppl attack?

what did i even do

 

**Realpcy:**

exactly

EXACTLY

 

**Guccipanda:**

no thats reasonable because ur annoying as hell

 

**Realpcy:**

i just. don't. deserve. this. discrimination.

 

**Baekhyunee:**

do you even know what that means?

1\. the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex.

oh wait

yea

 

**Realpcy:**

SEE

I DONT DESERVE ANY DROP OF IT

 

**Guccipanda:**

ok

im not up for the drama today

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY MONEY THEY COULD LEND ME


	13. tag urself im junmyeon

**DoKyungsoo:**

the amount of bullshit you people spout everyday.

 

**Baekhyunee:**

ok get out if that's all you're gonna say

 

**Luhan:**

lol

 

**Baekhyunee:**

oh right

sorry 

you can't :)))

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

this app is terrible

you can't even leave a gc

 

**Luhan:**

exactly

arent you glad

 

**Sheep02:**

the notif is off anyways, right?

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

right

because if i dont check messages

the phone fucking freezes on me

 

**Luhan:**

why dont you just delete it

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

and unable to make sure you eleven are alive?

 

**Guccipanda:**

just buy a better phone

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

you're spoiled

 

**Luhan:**

y e s

finally someone

 

**Guccipanda:**

fuck off with that shit

better than u guys

 

**Junmyeon:**

is this not stress inducing for you guys??

 

**Guccipanda:**

no

just u because ur the mom

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

i agree that this is stress inducing

it's like you guys just can't stop talking crap

 

**Luhan:**

first time soo talked this much

 

**Jongwae:**

typed***

 

**Luhan:**

bitch much


	14. tag urself im luhan // i still love people on valentines tho

**Kai:**

<3

 

**OhSehun:**

<3

 

**Baekhyunee:**

sly dicks

 

**Kai:**

kindly fuck off

 

**Baekhyunee:**

<3 <3

 

**Realpcy:**

<3 <3

 

**OhSehun:**

look whos trying

 

**Baekhyunee:**

we are just simply betTER THAN YOU

 

**OhSehun:**

ily <3

 

**Kai:**

ilyt <3

 

**Luhan:**

all of you are just disgusting

who designed this day

who created such hypocrisy day

 

**Guccipanda:**

r u the only alone one this yr

im applauding

 

**Luhan:**

right and who are you with???

oh sorry

your sad imaginary friend

 

**Guccipanda:**

ur insults r getting weaker n weaker

i AM actually with someone ;)

 

**Luhan:**

i feel sorry for them

 

**Baekhyunee:**

ghrsuk did you finally get a boyfriend

who is it

 

**Guccipanda:**

not telling?? such a stalker

 

**Baekhyunee:**

CJTYUKHIL im nO STALKER

AND I BET YOU HAVE NONE

BECAUSE YOURE SUCH A DICK

 

**Minsucc:**

imagining a walking genital is such a weird thing

 

**Jongwae:**

and i cant believe you did it :( gross

 

**Minsucc:**

get off my case rgysukef its valentines day

 

**Sheep02:**

and no one's loving each other

are you people mentally okay?

 

**Luhan:**

you needed to ask? im

 

**Junmyeon:**

I'm sure it's not that bad

You guys over exaggerate

 

**Luhan:**

trigge-

 

**Baekhyunee:**

riGHT HYUNG BECAUSE thIS iS YOuR FAULT

 

**Luhan:**

-RED

 

**Junmyeon:**

my fault?

what did I do?

 

**Baekhyunee:**

BY BRINGING IT UP THANKS SO MUCH

 

**Realpcy:**

istg

 

**Junmyeon:**

No I didn't :( Yixing did

 

**Yifan:**

great responsibility bearing

 

**Junmyeon:**

You're happy, happy enough today, why annoy me

 

**Minsucc:**

Why is our Yifan happy today?

Oml

Did you finally

finally

stepped out there and got a piece of meat grsufke

WE'RE PROUD OF YOU.

 

**Jongwae:**

can you hear me clapping

 

**Yifan:**

ok what the fuck

first of all

i had a good active life going this whole time so

 

**Kai:**

right lol

 

**OhSehun:**

lol

 

**Sheep02:**

sure you did

 

**Yifan:**

LOOK.

BELIEVE ME OR NOT.

BUT YES

 

**Luhan:**

and those bottles of alcohol when we last visited meant?

 

**Yifan:**

IT WAS A GREAT HANGOVER 

YOU PEOPLE ATTACK WITH THE TINIEST THINGS

 

**Jongwae:**

don't you worry

i'm seal clapping

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

and i am gagging

how can you all be this disgusting?


	15. tag urself im coffee lover minseok

**Sheep02:**

most tiring day

 

**Junmyeon:**

that's hurtful

I'm going over today

 

**Sheep02:**

exactly, i have to clean everything up

you hate weed.

 

**Luhan:**

he doesn't say that enough

 

**Sheep02:**

either i smoke everything before youre here

or i sell them all in an hr

thats not fucking possible, im so stressed

 

**Junmyeon:**

I'm sure it's not that bad

I mean, you have an apartment

you're not homeless

 

**Sheep02:**

only because im good at business

 

**Junmyeon:**

Look, it's probably not like cocaine in every corner

 

**Luhan:**

you're so stupid for stressing over something like that

if he doesnt like anything, kick him out

its your place lol

 

**OhSehun:**

it sucks balls whenever we visit your place 

because youre so picky about everything

 

**Luhan:**

no

its because you people are impossible

who makes rust in other people's places

 

**OhSehun:**

we learned it in science that day

 

**Luhan:**

YOU JUST DONT

MAKE RUST OKAY

 

**Junmyeon:**

am i buying coffee or tea

 

**Sheep02:**

tea please thank you

 

**Minsucc:**

i cant believe you asked that

no need for questioning

its always coffee

 

**Baekhyunee:**

you're MARRIED to coffee

ofc you're going to be biased

 

**Minsucc:**

like you dont have one?

 

**Jongwae:**

dont worry bae

its always coffee

 

**Minsucc:**

<3

 

**Baekhyunee:**

UM if youre asian enough

ITS TEA

 

**Jongwae:**

right because youre a spiller

always spilling the tea

 

**Baekhyunee:**

and youre nOT??

 

**Jongwae:**

fuck off

 

**Guccipanda:**

asian enough?

not all asians drink iced tea or green tea or

 

**Baekhyunee:**

YOU GET MY POINT

the chinese kind of tea

 

**Luhan:**

they dont sell that kind of tea in starbucks

or any kind of normal store

brew the chinese tea yourself

 

**Baekhyunee:**

no need for attACK

chanyeol

 

**Realpcy:**

right

its always tea

<3

 

**Luhan:**

jesus i feel sorry for you

 

**Realpcy:**

terrifying

 

**Baekhyunee:**

HES AGREEING WITH ME OKAY

 

**Sheep02:**

look i chose tea

so its tea

 

**Junmyeon:**

one tea okay

 

**OhSehun:**

i swear yall wasted 10 mins arguing over tea or coffee

 

**Kai:**

you guys have too much free time

 

**Minsucc:**

coffee for life

 

**Jongwae:**

#coffee4life

 

**OhSehun:**

uncool 

its 2k18

who says that

 

**Jongwae:**

we're noT THAT OLD

 

**Yifan:**

right and you cant wake in the morning without coffee

 

**Jongwae:**

fuck you

**Yifan:**

tea's much better for your body

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

Just drink water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drink both coffee and tea; tea because I'm Chinese and my family likes to drink tea in the afternoon and coffee because I really can't wake up without it.


	16. tag urself im jongin

**Minsucc:**

help

actually

 

**Luhan:**

interesting news today?

no wait i dont want to know

 

**Guccipanda:**

is it the soap again lol

 

**Minsucc:**

my three year old nephew is driving me insane

im not going to be okay after this

 

**Baekhyunee:**

where's jongdae in all of this

im sure the kid's quieter than him

 

**Jongwae:**

offended

 

**Minsucc:**

he fucking ditched me

 

**Jongwae:**

i totally ditched him

 

**Baekhyunee:**

wow relationship goals

 

**Jongwae:**

LOOK

i basically signed an invisible contract when we started

aND THAT KID WAS NOT IN IT

SO

 

**Minsucc:**

sigh

 

**Baekhyunee:**

i would've stayed with chanyeol

just saying

we're the best couple out there

 

**Jongwae:**

right

im even surprised how you two stayed together all this time

tho we've stayed longer than you

 

**Minsucc:**

can we please not turn into a goddamn competition i am struggling with pain here

 

**Baekhyunee:**

LONGER?

CHANYEOL AND I GO WAY BACK TO OUR PAST LIVES BITCH

 

**Jongwae:**

oh sorry

we're actually vampires

min and i dated ever since year 1 came onto the calendar

 

**Baekhyunee:**

I love chanyeol more than your two hearts for each other combined

 

**Minsucc:**

i am done with you two

 

**Realpcy:**

im

thank you its adorable seeing baekhyun type something like that for the first time

 

**Jongwae:**

WE EXPRESS OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER MORE THAN YOU TWO DO

 

**OhSehun:**

im sorry to disappoint you two?? but jongin and i are the best

 

**Baekhyunee:**

hypocrite

 

**Jongwae:**

youre way behind us little shit

at least baek is close to my level to argue

 

**Kai:**

just ignore them

<3

 

**OhSehun:**

:^)

<3

 

**Baekhyunee:**

close to your level??

UM

im at the very top

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

can you all shut the fuck up

we all fucking know you two are the bottoms


	17. tag urself im luhan but also tired tao

**Guccipanda:**

fuck highschool tbh

i

am

tired

 

**Luhan:**

no shit its almost 4am

 

**Guccipanda:**

yeA STAYING UP WRITING ESSAYS

 

**Realpcy:**

if it makes you feel any better

youre not alone, staying up so late

i have to deal with pizzas at 4am

 

**Baekhyunee:**

food taste the best when it's late

 

**Sheep02:**

look on the bright side tao

you're in your final year

then you're done

 

**Guccipanda:**

then comes fucking uni

im never getting a bREAK

 

**Luhan:**

university?

you?

 

**Guccipanda:**

LOok

its not like i want to

but ppl around me want me to so

 

**Luhan:**

dont listen to them?

 

**Guccipanda:**

ur one of the oldest yet u give the worst advices

ur the devil

 

**Baekhyunee:**

told you

a devil and a satan with us

 

**Kai:**

?

 

**Guccipanda:**

gysefijal ur up

good, write essays for me

 

**Kai:**

i'm busy enough with my own works

and like i could care less

whos the satan btw

 

**Baekhyunee:**

not obvious enough??

soo

 

**Minsucc:**

hes going to kill you one day

i think he hates all of us

 

**Luhan:**

don't worry

he still cares enough to make sure we're alive

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

for now

 

**OhSehun:**

im curious

why is almost everyone up at 4am

what do you people DO?

 

**Baekhyunee:**

i cant sleep

 

**Realpcy:**

you hurt me a lot

?? i literally cuddle with you, how can you not sleep

 

**Luhan:**

im happy

i can hear a heart breaking

 

**Sheep02:**

back to the college thing

what people around you?

your parents?

 

**Guccipanda:**

:( i have friends too

 

**Luhan:**

i cant believe you're influenced by your so called friends

actually,

imaginary friends or whatever you call them

 

**Guccipanda:**

i hope u fall off a cliff

wait i will just push u off

 

**Minsucc:**

or is it your boyfriend who you spoke of before

im surprised anyone would take you

 

**Guccipanda:**

I AM A GOOD PIECE

AND Y R U TWO SO IMMATURE

 

**Luhan:**

BECAUSE WE ARE TIRED OF YOUR IMMATURE HIGHSCHOOL SPELLING

WE'RE CONSTANTLY WAITING FOR THE DAY WHEN YOU MOVE ON FROM IT

 

**Guccipanda:**

WERE NOT IN ENGLISH

LET ME HAVE MY FUCKING PEACE

 

**Sheep02:**

well just remember

ignore peer pressure

and do what you want taozi

 

**Yifan:**

youre too laidback

the kid needs some education

or he's going to struggle getting jobs

 

**Junmyeon:**

agreed

but i'm sure tao will do fine

he's talented

 

**Guccipanda:**

i appreciate?? BUT IM RIGHT HERE

yall r too creepy

and im tired


	18. tag urself im luhan listening to music from the washroom

**Luhan:**

you guys are stupid

idiots

wtf

 

**Guccipanda:**

stop sulking

its a party

 

**Baekhyunee:**

ahaha exactly

 

**Minsucc:**

havent seen you yet

where are you lu?

 

**Luhan:**

um where else im in the bathroom

 

**Guccipanda:**

what the fuck

while texting??

 

**Luhan:**

NO OF COURSE NOT YOu dumbcunt

im hiding out here

and i cannot stand the loud music at all

 

**Baekhyunee:**

god youre worse than kyungsoo

hes still standing fyi

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

you owe me, Park

 

**Realpcy:**

cmon you needed this

YOU ALL NEEDED THIS

be thANKFUL I INVITED YOU GUYS

 

**Kai:**

i also did?

i invited more than 60% of the people here man

 

**Realpcy:**

stop lying 

you're just jealous :(

 

**OhSehun:**

how does baekhyun deal with you

 

**Realpcy:**

i swear when i see you

 

**OhSehun:**

you will be traumatized

cuz i would probably be having some alone time with jongin in the closet

 

**Luhan:**

TOO MUCH INFO

FUCK YOU

 

**Guccipanda:**

y r u hiding anyways

u should be getting a man tonight

 

**Luhan:**

why are YOU here

last time i checked

you had a boyfriend??

or were you lying like we all suspected

 

**Guccipanda:**

fuck off with your shit

he's here with me

go have yOUR PITY TIME ALONE FOR ALL I CARE

 

**Junmyeon:**

I smell drugs

where are you, yixing?

 

**Sheep02:**

its nOT ME THIS TIME

its some other chocked up dude

 

**Junmyeon:**

I hope thats true

 

**Jongwae:**

drguhs you better get here luhan

baek's getting all moped here

fucking shots with tao

 

**Luhan:**

ALCOHOL POISON FOR THEM FOR ALL I CARE

 

**Jongwae:**

rgjskea AHAH

 

**Yifan:**

fuck where?

 

**Jongwae:**

close to the counter

 

**Realpcy:**

great

im driving with drunk baekhyun

thats going to be fun

 

**Minsucc:**

embrace your drunk bf

 

**Luhan:**

for fucks sake

 

**Yifan:**

i've only been gone for a few mins

these two are impossible

 

**Minsucc:**

tru

 

**Sheep02:**

you still in the bathroom lu?

 

**Luhan:**

yes

quite comfy here now

 

**Sheep02:**

lol

imma spend a night in the stall next to you then

legs way too jelly to walk back

 

**Jongwae:**

thats a weird way to describe it

 

**Junmyeon:**

god did you take drugs

 

**Luhan:**

whos the closest to the player

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

me, why

 

**Luhan:**

DO NOT TURN IT OFF

istg 

i dont want to hear noises getting louder from the room next to me

 

**Realpcy:**

that little shit

 

**Jongwae:**

ohmygod theyre probably in the closet like hun said

 

**Realpcy:**

SHUT UP.

 

**Luhan:**

PLEASE.


	19. tag urself im yixing going back to sleep

**Luhan:**

good morning you dumbfucks i hate you all

 

**OhSehun:**

wow what crawled up your ass

 

**Luhan:**

tell your stupid ass of a boyfriend to never invite me to a party again

my back feels like a miserable shell abandoned by a snail

 

**Sheep02:**

told you not to sleep on the toilet

or whatever you tried to do

 

**OhSehun:**

well

whoop i couldnt care less

 

**Luhan:**

fuck you

 

**OhSehun:**

oh did the moans give it away yesterday?

 

**Luhan:**

STOP TALKING

 

**Realpcy:**

anyone have a handbook on how to deal with a drunken ass that whines about dried up mangos and dicks in the morning

 

**Kai:**

feeling sorry for you man

how did it go yesterday

 

**Realpcy:**

he almost got me to drive into a street pole

so that was that

 

**Yifan:**

i second on the handbook

dealing with drunk people is a fucking pain in the ass

 

**Minsucc:**

what, who do you have to deal with?

 

**Yifan:**

no one, i was just saying

they're all a fucking pain in the ass

 

**Jongwae:**

people are certainly unhappy this morning

and what the fuck 

go back to sleep

its like 11am

 

**Luhan:**

thats almost lunch time for me and im fucking hungry

someone fucking order a burger set for me

 

**Minsucc:**

we're not slaves for god's sake

how much back?

 

**Luhan:**

will suck your dick ok just get me a fucking burger set

 

**Jongwae:**

back off

i do not have pity for your pathetic hormones oK HE'S TAKEN

 

**Minsucc:**

well i feel very safe.

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

someone should just order lunch sets for 6

 

**Sheep02:**

5

im going back to sleep

 

**Jongwae:**

count me out as well

its way too fucking early

 

**Realpcy:**

wtf im confused

 

**Luhan:**

SOMEONE JUST ORDER

 

**Junmyeon:**

I'm ordering alright

calm down

6, right?

 

**Realpcy:**

include me and baek

im not cooking shit at 11 in the morning

 

**Yifan:**

also include tao and mine, gonna be there in 15

 

**Minsucc:**

oh you went home with tao yesterday?

 

**Yifan:**

fuck no

he just told me to pick him up

stop picking at the tiniest things

 

**Junmyeon:**

I'm just going to order 12

someone go wake yixing and jongdae up, they need to eat as well

 

**Jongwae:**

way too dead without baek and tao

 

**Minsucc:**

aahah they drank way too much yesterday

 

**Junmyeon:**

yet you didn't stop them

 

**Jongwae:**

boyfriends are there for a reason :^)

 

**Kai:**

oh junmyeon hyung 

add one more burger please

im starving

 

**OhSehun:**

same for me

 

**Luhan:**

you two are disgusting

 

**Kai:**

look, it was fine right?

soo didnt turn off the music

 

**Luhan:**

THERE WASNT AN OPTION

I COULDNT SLEEP AT ALL WITH THE MUSIC AND THE MOANS

I HATE HIGH SCHOOLERS WITH THEIR HORMONAL DAYS


	20. tag urself im worried yixing

**Realpcy:**

we really need to set some rules

 

**Guccipanda:**

great i cant wait to hear meaningless crap for the next few mins

 

**Jongwae:**

what did you expect from a parasite?

 

**Realpcy:**

first oF ALL

STOP CALLING ME A PARASITE

 

**OhSehun:**

thats good

i was thinking of a new nickname

dead waste

 

**Realpcy:**

NO BULLYING

 

**Luhan:**

AHAHA DONT THINK THATS STOPPING ANYTIME SOON

 

**Minsucc:**

I think you're making everything worse dead waste

 

**Realpcy:**

XHARTJYSGKUH

STOP

 

**Minsucc:**

new rule

stop kinkshaming

 

**Luhan:**

no one is??

 

**Kai:**

like i said

succ's not too bad

 

**Minsucc:**

i hate you all

 

**Baekhyunee:**

oh how bout this

from now on

if you borrow money

then you pay back twice the amount

 

**Kai:**

harsh but really applies to one person

 

**OhSehun:**

how does that

oh

OH AHAHA

 

**Guccipanda:**

HAVE I EVER MENTIONED THAT I HATE YOU

EVERY ONE OF YOU

 

**Jongwae:**

you shouldnt hate

thats bad

boo boo

 

**Sheep02:**

i think we all should get some help

 

**Luhan:**

ha

i think we've all established that

we're not mentally ok


	21. tag urself im gossip hater minseok

**Baekhyunee:**

everybody

we need to raise our hands for soo

HE'S NOT AS SINGLE AS WE THOUGHT

 

**Minsucc:**

why are all of you such gossips

why pry into love lives

 

**Guccipanda:**

for the fun

 

**Minsucc:**

right

like that explains everything

 

**Jongwae:**

OOH

does that mean luhan is the only one

left in the pathetic singles club

 

**Luhan:**

you make it sound like our lives are some kind of romcom

again

FUCK OFF

go whINE sOMEWHErE ELSE

 

**Baekhyunee:**

soo you better come on and explain this

 

**Luhan:**

no put that traitor's head somewhere else.

and let me spit on him

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

 

**Baekhyunee:**

YOURE ON

QUICK

TELL US WHO IS YOUR NEW BF

OR TOY

ITS OK I DONT JUDGE

 

**Kai:**

do you like

embrace every kink that comes your way???

 

**Baekhyunee:**

wow how did you know

 

**OhSehun:**

yee

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

my personal life is none of your business, Baek

 

**Baekhyunee:**

ITS ALL OF OUR BUSINESS WHEN YOU GOT A GOD THAT'S THAT HOT

HE LOOKS LIKE A GOD

 

**Guccipanda:**

k now im curious

 

**Jongwae:**

please tell you snapped one pic of them

or the god you speak of

 

**Yifan:**

do you all stalk in your own free time??

you guys seriously freak me out sometimes

 

**Baekhyunee:**

uM KNOW BEFORE JUDGING??

i DIDNT snap one

unless i wanted to get into a car accident

 

**Realpcy:**

waIT

YOU WERE DRI VIN G

WEVE TALKED BOUT THIS 

 

**Baekhyunee:**

LOOK

LET ME FUCKING FINISH THIS

soo probably has a pic of him

cmon soo

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

Why are we friends?

Actually no,

it just had to be my luck 

to have the same class with you in college


	22. tag urself im jongdae trying to cook

**Jongwae:**

quick

someone know how to get rid of flour off the entire kitchen quickly

 

**Baekhyunee:**

by quickly

you mean over a day right

 

**Minsucc:**

what the hell did you do to our kitchen

 

**Jongwae:**

nothing

that was a hypothetical question

 

**Minsucc:**

dae i was literally gone for 10 mins

 

**Jongwae:**

HYPOTHETICAL

OH

btw you can shop for a little longer

because i want you to :)

 

**Minsucc:**

forget the shopping

im coming home

 

**Jongwae:**

OK

TAKE YOUR TIME <3333

 

**Minsucc:**

istg dae

 

**Sheep02:**

i know how

i learned this when i messed up making a drug

 

**Junmyeon:**

you are not influencing the kids well yixing

 

**Jongwae:**

no lay i hAVE NO TIME FOR THAT BULLSHIT

AND I AM NOT BURNING DOWN OUR HOUSE

 

**Sheep02:**

oh that's too bad :(

it worked well for me

 

**Baekhyunee:**

what were you even trying to do??

flour all over the kitchen? wow

 

**Jongwae:**

I HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS.


	23. tag urself im tao's mind because i'm always in the gutter

**Realpcy:**

im alive

IM STILL STANDING IN MY OWN FLESH

BE PROUD

 

**Jongwae:**

what the fuck are you on?

 

**Sheep02:**

whatever you people say

it's not me this time

 

**OhSehun:**

i bet its just dramatic waste again

i mean

if he wasnt one already

 

**Realpcy:**

you people are fucking mean

why can't you be nICE

JUST LISTEN FOR ONCE

 

**Luhan:**

pfft

 

**Junmyeon:**

What happened, Chanyeol?

 

**Realpcy:**

KAY GREAT

so it was one of my friend's bday yesterday

 

**Jongwae:**

one of your friends?

um

 

**Luhan:**

you dont have friends

people avoid you

 

**Realpcy:**

SO IT WAS ONE OF MY FRIEND'S BDAY YESTERDAY.

hes literally a demon

and im still in one piece

be proud of me

 

**Junmyeon:**

Demon?

 

**Jongwae:**

exaggerating little shit

 

**Baekhyunee:**

just get soo here

he's the exact same as soo

satan

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

I really hope you die soon.

 

**Luhan:**

another soo?

and the world hasn't ended

i dont believe you

 

**Jongwae:**

whats his name

 

**Baekhyunee:**

ironic

very ironic but sugar

 

**Luhan:**

a satan named sugar

thats misleading

 

**Guccipanda:**

could be a porno name

or a stripper's

 

**Luhan:**

SGRYJEKFADJLSKBDJSN

 

**Realpcy:**

for the last time baek

that's not his name

 

**Baekhyunee:**

and you're not real park chanyeol either

 

**Jongwae:**

you're real dead waste


	24. tag urself i'm yixing lurking // and words actually affect people, so know the line

**Guccipanda:**

im officially done

someone get me out of this universe

 

**Luhan:**

dramatic much

 

**Jongwae:**

ew we dont need another chanyeol

i mean dead waste

 

**Realpcy:**

you try to get on my nerves by insisting im dead waste

it's not going to work

 

**Jongwae:**

oof dont lie

i can see smoke coming out of your nose already

 

**Guccipanda:**

can we fOCUS ON ME PLEaSE

 

**Baekhyunee:**

such attention slut

 

**Junmyeon:**

Baek we've talked about name calling

 

**Baekhyunee:**

yeah well

hes being a little bitch rn

 

**Guccipanda:**

LIKE YOU ARENT A ATTENTION SLUT

 

**Luhan:**

an*

 

**Minsucc:**

an*

 

**Guccipanda:**

fuck off

just because a few of u guys went to uni

doesnt mean im such shit

 

**Minsucc:**

you are one with spelling

 

**Luhan:**

at least he spelled because right

 

**OhSehun:**

wow i love today

 

**Kai:**

hate to admit it but such goodness

 

**Guccipanda:**

I HATE ALL OF YOU

 

**Junmyeon:**

Ignore them Tao

What happened by the way?

 

**DoKyungsoo:**

Good, we hate you back.

 

**Jongwae:**

stop the mom act

its creeping me out

a lot :(((

 

**Guccipanda:**

nothing is working out for me

someone stole my earbuds

then i got a B on math when it was .50 from an A

and the fucking school wifi

banned us from going on fanfic sites

 

**Luhan:**

aw shit week

 

**Minsucc:**

aha

 

**OhSehun:**

such goodness my pray has been heard

 

**Baekhyunee:**

ashjvghfklaosui

 

**Junmyeon:**

Sorry to hear that Tao

Hope you find your earbuds

and a B isn't that bad, you know

 

**Jongwae:**

i didnt know you read fanfics

 

**Baekhyunee:**

wow when you already got a bf

or do you?

 

**Minsucc:**

i knew he wasnt real

 

**Guccipanda:**

you guys are such dicks

fuck all of you

 

**Junmyeon:**

Tao

 

**Jongwae:**

dramatic

 

**Junmyeon:**

You guys need to learn to listen to other people's problems

 

**Baekhyunee:**

we did lol

 

**Junmyeon:**

and not laugh like it's amusement for you

How immature can you guys get?

 

**Yifan:**

I agree on that

All of you need to apologize to him

 

**Sheep02:**

wow such silence.

 

**Yifan:**

Idiots.

 


	25. tag urself im baekhyun

**DoKyungsoo:**

kay its been a fucking week

lets just get it over with

 

**Baekhyunee:**

let me prepare my heart first

never done this before

 

**Junmyeon:**

What did you grow up on

 

**Baekhyunee:**

a dick thank you very much

 

**Jongwae:**

LOOK LETS JUST

TAO SIT YOUR FUCKING ASIAN ASS DOWN

 

**Minsucc:**

great start babe

 

**Guccipanda:**

fuck off cocks

 

**Luhan:**

We

are

sorry

happy now?

 

**Guccipanda:**

no midgets

 

**Luhan:**

FUCK YOU WITH THAT SHIT

MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS

I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS

 

**Sheep02:**

i

 

**OhSehun:**

heh

 

**Guccipanda:**

sew ur shitty mouth shut

ur the worst of them all

 

**OhSehun:**

glad the hate is reciprocated 

i hate u so much

 

**Guccipanda:**

i wish those turtlenecks just choKE U

 

**Kai:**

i dont see why we need to apologize

to this little sorry ass

 

**Guccipanda:**

at least i have an ass

 

**Minsucc:**

Why are all of you like this

 

**Guccipanda:**

god u all r asses

 

**OhSehun:**

give me something to shove up his ass

 

**Guccipanda:**

its greatly occupied

i dont want any of ur shit

 

**Kai:**

like we do??

YOURE JUST BEING DRAMATIC

 

**Junmyeon:**

you guys

seriously

 

**Guccipanda:**

WHAT AM I GETTING BULLIED FOR

 

**Realpcy:**

you finally understand

 

**Guccipanda:**

EVEN IF SOMEONE SHOVED FISTS FAR DOWN MY THROAT

NO ONE WOULD EVER GET TO YOUR DEPTH

 

**Realpcy:**

CUT

WE ARE DONE

 

**Junmyeon:**

Yixing

 

**Sheep02:**

it wasNT ME

BELIEVE ME

nOT MY FAULT THEYRE BORN HIGH AF


End file.
